Everything was going to be perfect. She was getting ready to go on a date with a really nice and handsome guy that evening.
The only thing that bothered her was that there would be no chaperones. He was picking her up in his car and taking her to a surprise destination.
Her commitment of staying sexually pure for God kept popping into her mind. Finally, after thinking about it for a while, she decided that she could trust the guy. After all, he claimed to be a Christian. Little did she know just how much temptation would soon join them that evening.
We think we want to follow God’s plan for sexual purity, but then a cute guy comes along and we start to have second thoughts. We bury the voice of the Holy Spirit, telling us what’s right, by making excuses.
“He said he was a Christian…”
“One kiss isn’t going to hurt anything…”
“He seems like a nice guy. I’ll just leave it up to him.”
I want to make one thing clear. Everyone makes mistakes. Just because someone says that they are a Christian doesn’t mean they don’t fall into temptation every once in a while.
I think that sometimes we, as girls, want to count on that special guy to be the leader and care-taker, that we start to put full trust in him instead of God.
Just like guys should strive to live a pure life, us girls need to be doing our part as well.
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we place an enormous amount of pressure on the guys in our lives. We expect them to make all the right choices, but that’s not humanly possible. Yes, we should always encourage them to do what’s right, but we need to be doing the same thing.
It says in Galatians 5:16, “I say then: walk by the spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” This is a command that everyone, including you and me, is expected to follow.
God has a specific plan for all of us. He wants us to enjoy the benefits and blessings of staying physically and emotionally pure both outside and inside of marriage. If we fill our minds with impure sexual thoughts, words, and actions, we are never going to experience the true joy of staying focused on God.
There’s a reason we feel a need to hide our sins. We know in our hearts that what we’re doing is wrong, but we let our emotions blind us from reality. God’s desire is that we can live a life of freedom.
I know that it’s not always easy to resist our feelings of temptation, but God promises that no temptation can overtake us. He says that He will always provide a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). That’s why I want to share with you 5 Essential Strategies to Fight for Sexual Purity.
1. Don’t purposefully place yourself in compromising situations.
This could be anything from reading a questionable book to being alone with a guy. Let’s go back to that story at the beginning.
- The first mistake was that the girl agreed to go on a date with no chaperones.
- The second mistake was that, even though she felt uneasy about it, she still pushed her commitment to God to the side.
- The third mistake was that she decided to fully trust the guy to do what’s best.
When we place ourselves in situations where we know it would be easy to be tempted, we open a door for satan to come in.
James 4:17 says, “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” We know that God tells us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and flee sexual sin (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), so it’s up to us to do what we know is right and do our very best to avoid placing ourselves in situations that would cause us to sin.
2. Create a game plan.
Let’s say you were going to a guy’s house. You thought his parents were going to be home, but it turns out they weren’t going to be after all. This, in itself, wasn’t your fault, but now you’re not sure how to handle it.
It’s times like these when we need a game plan.
By game plan, I mean we need to make a decision of what to do in these kinds of situations before they happen. In the example above (which was given to me by my wonderful mom), you could go for a walk or to a coffee shop instead of being all alone in an empty house. You could call someone to let them know what happened and invite them over or even ask to be picked up.
See what I mean? It’s incredibly easy to let emotions guide you when you’re in the moment so when you make up your mind ahead of time, you may save yourself and the other person from making a regrettable mistake.
3. Get accountability.
Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? It can get super hard and exhausting, right? That’s the same with sexual impurity. It can become a habit. It takes your eyes off Jesus and onto the world.
God places certain people in our lives to help us, encourage us, and correct us in a loving manner. By asking someone to hold you accountable to your commitments to God, it takes part of the load off of you and makes you more likely to learn from your mistakes rather than repeating them.
James 5:16 says, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Talk to someone who is a committed Christian and ask them to help you stay sexually pure and focused on God. This is truly a blessing and will help you have a more joyful and uplifting life.
4. Fill your mind with God’s word.
There are countless Bible verses on purity. Here are a few that have helped me.
- Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
- Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
- Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
- 1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
I love Matthew 5:8 specifically because in it, Jesus promises us that, if we have a pure heart, we will see God (in eternity). That automatically gives me a boost to keep on going because it’s totally worth it.
I encourage you to pick out a verse (or a few) to memorize and say them to yourself each time you feel tempted. When you intentionally do what you know is right and strive to follow what God says in His Word, He will deliver you and help you through every struggle and temptation.
5. Pray! Pray! Pray!
It’s absolutely impossible to resist temptation on your own. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It is only with Christ’s help that we can keep satan away from us.
Prayer isn’t just something you say before you eat or before you go to sleep. Prayer is our way of talking to God and, since God is always with us, we can talk to Him anywhere, anytime. That’s what I love so much about our God! He’s available 24/7 and will never give up on us.
We can even pray with each other. It says in Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
I hope these 5 strategies help you fully rely on God and fight for sexual purity, even when it’s hard.
Always remember that God cares about you and loves you more than you can even comprehend! He’s always here for you.
What do you think?
- What are some verses that have helped you stay strong in the midst of temptation?
- Would you add anymore strategies to my list? If so, what?
Written by Kayla Marie of Embrace Purity.