Relationships: Is Spiritual Compatibility Really That Important?


We all have those times when we let something slip to the back of our mind. On purpose.

There’s something in our life that we really want to work out and so we try to diminish the issues that are stopping us.

Unfortunately, spiritual compatibility is one of the things that people push out of their minds when it comes to relationships.

I’m not talking about the common idea of “we’re both Christians, so everything’s fine” because, in reality, that’s just a lie.

It’s true that you might both be Christians, but that doesn’t mean you’re spiritually compatible. 

Let’s take a look at 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

What does it mean to be unequally yoked?

This is one of the Bible verses that gets misinterpreted most often. At the beginning it says, “do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.”

Most people would take one look at that sentence and say that it is referring to marrying someone who isn’t a Christian, which, normally, would be true.

The fact is, the term ‘Christian’ is so loosely defined that you could marry someone who calls themselves a Christian, but differ completely on certain beliefs.

Something that I’ve seen a lot is people admitting to this, but staying in the relationship because they believe that the other person will eventually change. A big flaw with this thinking is that it’s not fair to either of them.

One person will be focusing on how to get the other to change. And the other person will have to deal with being in a relationship with someone who wants them to believe differently (this issue will be addressed in a later article).

Being equally yoked means to believe what the Bible says. It means to be on the same page spiritually. 

You can both call yourselves Christians, but in order for a relationship to work out spiritually, you need to come to an understanding of where exactly you differ on spiritual beliefs.

I’m not saying that you have to believe completely the same. Chances are, you’re not going to find someone exactly like you, but you do need to make sure that you are both committed to following God and believing His words.

Why is spiritual compatibility so important?

What happens when you get married and come to a time when you have to make a serious decision. For one of you, saying yes to this decision means compromising what you believe. For the other, saying no to this decision will mean compromising what you believe.

So, what do you do? Maybe you can figure out some way to get around it, but chances are, you won’t get away for long.

Life comes with all sorts of choices and big decisions. Especially when it comes to marriage and raising children.

At some point in your journey, you’re going to have to come to a conclusion on your beliefs. There are two common ‘fixes’ to this issue. The first is compromising your convictions a little on both sides. The second is arguing about it.

Neither one of these is what God wants for you.


What can you do?

If you’re already married, I’m not saying to get a divorce and find someone else who believes what you do. In your circumstance, the best thing would be to pray for your spouse and live a life that shows Jesus.

There may be times when you feel pressured to compromise and go against what you strongly believe. In that case, keep praying for your spouse and find a solid, firm believer in God to help you through.

For those of you who are not married, but are dating, take a look at your relationship. Talk with each other about what you believe and pray that God would show you His will.

If you believe that God is telling you that this isn’t the right time or even the right person to be in a relationship with, don’t shut Him out.

God has your best interest at heart and doesn’t want to see you go down a path where you will get hurt later on.

For you who are single, be grounded in God’s word and pray very hard before entering into a relationship, even it’s just a coffee date. This will save you from potential hardships that result from being spiritually incompatible.

Remember, God’s design is always the best design. He knows exactly what He’s doing.