Relationships

It’s Time to End the Merry-go-Round Method of Romance

Hi girls! I’m posting our first discussion article early due to the fact that I will be out of town this week. 


“Until we, as modern women, intentionally choose a Christ-centered approach, we will continue spinning in never-ending, nauseating circles.” (Love Defined page 47)

How many times have you noticed yourself falling into the same cycle of romance? You notice a guy, you chase after him, it doesn’t work out, and you end up in tears.

That’s how Hollywood’s version of romance works. It may look flawless in the movies, but how about in real life?

That’s what modern women want to know and that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I hope you had a chance to read chapters 3 and 7 of Love Defined! These chapters were jam-packed with some amazing truths about Hollywood’s version of romance and God’s version of true love.

First, let’s take a look at the 5 steps of what Kristen and Bethany call “The Merry-go-Round Method for Modern Relationships”.

1. Catch the Right Guy
2. Coast on Infatuation
3. Concentrate on Your Feelings
4. Count on Him to Satisfy You
5. Cry When it Fails (then do it all over again)

How many of you have taken a ride on this not-so-fun merry-go-round? Today, many modern relationships end up worse than when they first began. They’re not built on a firm foundation and, therefore, fall apart when the going gets tough.

Though we could spend all day talking about the merry-go-round method, why don’t we turn our focus on what we can do to avoid this messy ride?

Chapter 7 of Love Defined focuses primarily on what Kristen and Bethany refer to as “God’s Timeless Method for Lasting Relationships”.

The goal of God’s timeless method is to glorify God with our relationships. Let’s take a look at the 5 steps of this method!

1. Cultivate the Right Heart
2. Choose to Seek Wisdom
3. Concentrate on God’s Truth
4. Count on Christ to Satisfy You
5. Continue to Trust God if it Ends

There isn’t a perfect, cookie-cutter formula for relationships, but God’s Word is filled with wisdom on how we can honor Him in how we go about romance.

If we don’t build our foundation on Christ, our relationships can only go so far. It’s time to end the merry-go-round method of romance and start following God’s design for lasting love.

Key Scripture Verses

Proverbs 28:26 “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.”

Proverbs 3:13 “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.”

Psalm 118:8 “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man”

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”

Discussion Time

Which of the five steps of the merry-go-round method stands out to you the most? Why?

How have you seen the negative effects of this method play our in your life or the life of someone you know?

Think back on a past relationships (yours or a friend’s). How would applying God’s timeless method changed that relationship?

Comment below with your answers to be entered into our summer giveaway!

Live it Out: Write down the 5 steps of God’s Timeless Method and hang it up somewhere you can see it!


*discussion questions were taken from Love Defined chapters 3 and 7.